Senior Reflection By Dante Chakravorti
April 09, 2019 | Men's Volleyball, Features
Senior Dante Chakravorti, who will graduate in June with a degree in computer science, shares some insight on his journey at UC Irvine.
When I got off the phone with Kniff I knew I had truly outdone myself. I somehow convinced one of the most successful head coaches in the country that he should let an undersized, slow, un-athletic kid, with virtually no winning experience, join the most successful program in the last decade. The team was coming off a conference championship and a Final Four appearance. We returned All-Americans and we're ranked #2 going into the season. I really had them fooled.
Don't get me wrong though, Kniff and others made it clear from the start that I didn't belong, at least not in my current form. I would finish last in every sprint, lift by far the least weight (probably very incorrectly), and go entire practices without digging the ball. I was constantly worrying about not letting down the older guys when I would get a chance to play with them, and more concerned with not doubling than running any sort of offense.
I know this because when I was thinking about how to start today, I did what I usually do… ask Parker what he was going to do and try to do it just a little bit better. That meant going back to my journals from freshman year. I realized that in addition to all the stress and pressure, I was already feeling the overwhelming support coming back from the unit. My notes were filled with reminders about guys like senior Marty Ross, the other Chicagoan who would constantly be around for me, usually by crushing my quad in a partner roll. Or Reid Dominguez, who would whisper guys' names to me as we split from the board so I could talk with my hitters. Or Logan Zotovich, a fellow setter who would help teach me the drills in between practices. Lots of my writings were about my fellow freshmen, Matt, Matt, and Grant who would come to form a large swath of my support system as we all tried to figure out how to "be comfortable getting uncomfortable" while living together.
I started to get a better picture, this was going to be tough, but this collection of people was special. The people I had always respected most in life, many of them in this room today, shared a thread that was at the fabric of this team: selflessness. This ability to serve others before yourself fascinated me. I knew that if I could figure it out and carry it on by setting an example, I could start to repay all of the people who did the same for me throughout my whole life.
What I didn't realize was how much more grateful I would become for those people that demonstrated every day what it meant to be unconditionally selfless. As the characters of my story started to leave, I found myself falling on tougher times. It felt like the pillars of my foundation were slowly leaving, and that support was shrinking. That perception clouded my judgment, but those people who were still here, my teammates, my coaches, my trainer, my family re-grounded me and helped me realize that I found my joy and strength from pouring back into that network. Repaying all of the people who invested in me allowed my driving force to grow, so that it was bigger than me.
I started to realize that I, rather selfishly, wanted to make helping others an anchor point to live by. Luckily for me we had a particularly large group of newcomers coming, a perfect opportunity to fool some more people into thinking I had this thing figured out. Even more fortunate, one of our best players was willing to let me help him in an arena I was comfortable in, the classroom. We had a clear goal and an idea of how to get there, now all I needed was JB's blessing and we could get to work.
10 weeks went by and we found ourselves coming into finals. We knew that a strong performance could solidify an amazing turnaround and punctuate perfectly a quarter of dedicated hard work. The last test of the week was for ESS, and we were working very late into the night. We'd pulled all our tricks, Blaze pizza, coffee, and even an early morning hill sprint. As Joel finished explaining ocean gyre formation to me for sixth time that quarter, we sat back and looked at the blackboards of HIB that we had filled. He would go on to do very well on all of the exams that quarter but I will never forget that moment specifically. Sitting there, both of us running on fumes, Joel did what he always, he looked at me and said "Thank you".
People saw the kind of effort we were putting in and kept asking me why I was helping out Joel so much. This question utterly confused me because of moments like those. Every time a guy like Joel looks at me and tells me that I helped him, I respond with thank you. Joel was the one giving me the opportunity to repay all of the people who had done things for me that made no sense on paper. The trust he puts in me is extra fuel I can use. He believes in me when I don't. We've woven one more thread in the netting of support that makes this experience so special.
We've got some challenges coming. Opportunities for unimaginable growth. We will not grow if we don't have a strong driving force for why we do what we do. Decisions we make must be about more than ourselves, because what we're facing is bigger and tougher than any one of us. Then again, there is no collection of individuals I'd rather rely on to rise to the challenge. Thank you.
When I got off the phone with Kniff I knew I had truly outdone myself. I somehow convinced one of the most successful head coaches in the country that he should let an undersized, slow, un-athletic kid, with virtually no winning experience, join the most successful program in the last decade. The team was coming off a conference championship and a Final Four appearance. We returned All-Americans and we're ranked #2 going into the season. I really had them fooled.
Don't get me wrong though, Kniff and others made it clear from the start that I didn't belong, at least not in my current form. I would finish last in every sprint, lift by far the least weight (probably very incorrectly), and go entire practices without digging the ball. I was constantly worrying about not letting down the older guys when I would get a chance to play with them, and more concerned with not doubling than running any sort of offense.
I know this because when I was thinking about how to start today, I did what I usually do… ask Parker what he was going to do and try to do it just a little bit better. That meant going back to my journals from freshman year. I realized that in addition to all the stress and pressure, I was already feeling the overwhelming support coming back from the unit. My notes were filled with reminders about guys like senior Marty Ross, the other Chicagoan who would constantly be around for me, usually by crushing my quad in a partner roll. Or Reid Dominguez, who would whisper guys' names to me as we split from the board so I could talk with my hitters. Or Logan Zotovich, a fellow setter who would help teach me the drills in between practices. Lots of my writings were about my fellow freshmen, Matt, Matt, and Grant who would come to form a large swath of my support system as we all tried to figure out how to "be comfortable getting uncomfortable" while living together.
I started to get a better picture, this was going to be tough, but this collection of people was special. The people I had always respected most in life, many of them in this room today, shared a thread that was at the fabric of this team: selflessness. This ability to serve others before yourself fascinated me. I knew that if I could figure it out and carry it on by setting an example, I could start to repay all of the people who did the same for me throughout my whole life.
What I didn't realize was how much more grateful I would become for those people that demonstrated every day what it meant to be unconditionally selfless. As the characters of my story started to leave, I found myself falling on tougher times. It felt like the pillars of my foundation were slowly leaving, and that support was shrinking. That perception clouded my judgment, but those people who were still here, my teammates, my coaches, my trainer, my family re-grounded me and helped me realize that I found my joy and strength from pouring back into that network. Repaying all of the people who invested in me allowed my driving force to grow, so that it was bigger than me.
I started to realize that I, rather selfishly, wanted to make helping others an anchor point to live by. Luckily for me we had a particularly large group of newcomers coming, a perfect opportunity to fool some more people into thinking I had this thing figured out. Even more fortunate, one of our best players was willing to let me help him in an arena I was comfortable in, the classroom. We had a clear goal and an idea of how to get there, now all I needed was JB's blessing and we could get to work.
10 weeks went by and we found ourselves coming into finals. We knew that a strong performance could solidify an amazing turnaround and punctuate perfectly a quarter of dedicated hard work. The last test of the week was for ESS, and we were working very late into the night. We'd pulled all our tricks, Blaze pizza, coffee, and even an early morning hill sprint. As Joel finished explaining ocean gyre formation to me for sixth time that quarter, we sat back and looked at the blackboards of HIB that we had filled. He would go on to do very well on all of the exams that quarter but I will never forget that moment specifically. Sitting there, both of us running on fumes, Joel did what he always, he looked at me and said "Thank you".
People saw the kind of effort we were putting in and kept asking me why I was helping out Joel so much. This question utterly confused me because of moments like those. Every time a guy like Joel looks at me and tells me that I helped him, I respond with thank you. Joel was the one giving me the opportunity to repay all of the people who had done things for me that made no sense on paper. The trust he puts in me is extra fuel I can use. He believes in me when I don't. We've woven one more thread in the netting of support that makes this experience so special.
We've got some challenges coming. Opportunities for unimaginable growth. We will not grow if we don't have a strong driving force for why we do what we do. Decisions we make must be about more than ourselves, because what we're facing is bigger and tougher than any one of us. Then again, there is no collection of individuals I'd rather rely on to rise to the challenge. Thank you.
Players Mentioned
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/ Men's Volleyball
Outside Hitter
/ Men's Volleyball
Setter
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